im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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