Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
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Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
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why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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