Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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