go do what you do best...puke behind churches
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
