I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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