i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
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