so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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