come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
P.S. I can't hear my feet
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
