Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
