just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
