So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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