So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
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