pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
