Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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