you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
