Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
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