i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
