She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
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