thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
