Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are. http://tfl.nu/hb6o
  Replies (10) Good night (3648) Bad night (492)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up. http://tfl.nu/qfvl
  Replies (16) Good night (908) Bad night (1763)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (865): he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers. http://tfl.nu/fhwb
  Replies (48) Good night (5368) Bad night (1017)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (479): just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation. http://tfl.nu/5hwm
  Replies (162) Good night (1305) Bad night (6902)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's. http://tfl.nu/kqcw
  Replies (10) Good night (4204) Bad night (929)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him. http://tfl.nu/b1lr
  Replies (8) Good night (3963) Bad night (1650)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.

  (1-515): View more from Iowa

  and you said he wasn't worth calling.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (515): he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer. (1-515): and you said he wasn't worth calling. http://tfl.nu/rvi9
  Replies (17) Good night (1942) Bad night (641)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night. http://tfl.nu/ahny
  Replies (8) Good night (861) Bad night (1670)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (913): My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable. http://tfl.nu/pa6u
  Replies (6) Good night (736) Bad night (1846)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket http://tfl.nu/ka4g
  Replies (5) Good night (578) Bad night (1392)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (661): I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body. http://tfl.nu/1u6s
  Replies (1) Good night (831) Bad night (396)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them http://tfl.nu/lutq
  Replies (8) Good night (610) Bad night (399)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win. http://tfl.nu/9m9y
  Replies (1) Good night (793) Bad night (314)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers. http://tfl.nu/iktn
  Replies (5) Good night (1311) Bad night (275)
• Favorite

  (260): View more from Indiana

  Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (260): Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message. http://tfl.nu/4llk
  Replies (1) Good night (664) Bad night (268)

Randomize