I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms