Texts From Last Night

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  (512): View more from Texas

  3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear

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  (512) 3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear http://tfl.nu/ahne
  Replies (4) Good night (1733) Bad night (2320)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them

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  (630): Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them http://tfl.nu/urf6
  Replies (55) Good night (3836) Bad night (578)
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  (347): View more from New York

  i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours

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  (347): i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours http://tfl.nu/3wc8
  Replies (33) Good night (4519) Bad night (1877)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?

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  (717): Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag. (610): was it embarrassing when you had to say yes? http://tfl.nu/rz29
  Replies (10) Good night (1695) Bad night (6440)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  This is the prime rib incident all over again

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  (561): This is the prime rib incident all over again http://tfl.nu/74hx
  Replies (14) Good night (3345) Bad night (1248)
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  (+64): View more from New Zealand

  And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.

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  (+64): And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical. http://tfl.nu/yu5v
  Replies (23) Good night (5754) Bad night (1555)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.

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  (910): me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a. http://tfl.nu/1fan
  Replies (5) Good night (2436) Bad night (1618)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden

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  (770): How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden http://tfl.nu/1f55
  Replies (10) Good night (3967) Bad night (1201)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.

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  (269): I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon. http://tfl.nu/pf1i
  Replies (6) Good night (2964) Bad night (947)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA

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  (954): STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA http://tfl.nu/oiv6
  Replies (21) Good night (1585) Bad night (3967)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.

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  (917): i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping. http://tfl.nu/d7ey
  Replies (8) Good night (990) Bad night (4357)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.

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  (812): You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time. http://tfl.nu/0lxp
  Replies (7) Good night (2887) Bad night (767)
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  (916): View more from California

  The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.

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  (916): The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight. http://tfl.nu/8kai
  Replies (6) Good night (1189) Bad night (542)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust

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  (513): It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust http://tfl.nu/67aa
  Replies (2) Good night (447) Bad night (954)
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  (716): View more from New York

  You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.

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  (716): You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now. http://tfl.nu/udiw
  Replies (5) Good night (588) Bad night (176)

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