Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Randomize
