Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.