No, drunk sperm still make babies.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Randomize
