Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
