what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
