69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
