This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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