Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i wish my penis had a tongue
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I just want to make out with him forever
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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