dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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