how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
