Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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