WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
