Fine. I'll sleep in my office
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize