thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
