my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Redeem this text for a blowjob
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize