i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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