My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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