My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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