You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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