She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Randomize