Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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