Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
ttyl tear gas
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
