Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
