nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
