I got chris browned last night
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
