if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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