hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
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