Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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