so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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