I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
