My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
