please come you make the beer taste better
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
