How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
