my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
