hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be your penis for a week.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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