after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
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