That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
