just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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