I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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