Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
