I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
