I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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