A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
