so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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