Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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