dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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