So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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