I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I need a beard to bite.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Randomize