Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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