Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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